so much for homework

I got my TV, my games, my movies, and my books. I"m really tired right now because I was up until 2 hanging out instead of writing a paper. So I don't really feel like doing a big, elaborate post right now. But I got my stuff. Things are getting settled finally. I gotta go finish that paper. Ooo, baseball's on.

fuckin' carl

Since it seems that my blog traffic has been slowly decreasing as everyone gets engrossed in their own comings and goings, I've decided to just talk about stuff that's happening around here, whether or not you're from here, wherever here is, and commas are an incredibly useful tool in extending sentences, such as this one which has gone on for approximately 62 or so words. But anyway.

I ate at Carl's Jr. today, if anyone is familiar with the burger chain. It drew some media attention with a particularly raunchy ad featuring (who else?) Paris Hilton. That woman, I mean, that girl. She's obviously not mature enough (mentally) to be considered a woman, though some might argue that she's mature enough (physically) to be called whatever she wants. Does that include "whore," "pornstar," and "cocksucker"? Because when I think Paris Hilton, I think those. When I think Paris Hilton, I do not think, "Mmm, Carl's Jr. I could really go for a Double Western Bacon Chee right now." That's what I had at Carl's Jr. The Double Western Bacon Cheeseburger. It was a greasy, glorious, 900 calories that sucked the life right outta me. I'm not good with fast food anymore, since I hardly eat it nowadays. Kevin James describes my situation perfectly. When I eat fast food, I feel like a bear that just got shot with a tranquilizer dart. I just want to lay around and let the calories congeal into fat, or however that works. I'm not a damn biology major.

Interesting side note on Carl's Jr. Why the fuck is it Carl's Jr. and not Carl Jr's? I don't say, "I borrowed Ken Griffey's Jr. bat." (Funniest quote ever from Cam) But now you know who Carl is in the post title. Cam had a bad day at Carl's Jr. Long story short, it took them 20 minutes to get his order wrong. Add details as you like.

I saw Brazil, Terry Gilliam's masterpiece, at Grauman's Egyptian Theater in Hollywood the other day. Lot's of info in that one sentence, and a lot of history behind Brazil which I will not delve into, since I'm not an expert. But I highly recommend it to anyone who gives a damn. But just make sure that the version you see is 142 minutes (The Criterion Collection DVD, I believe), or if you can't find that, the 132 minute version isn't that bad. Just DO NOT SEE the 90 minute version, if it's even out there, because it's completely worthless. Okay, so you're probably confused. Just see the movie, Robert De Niro makes it completely worth your time, even if you don't like the rest of it.

I'm not tired, and it's 1 AM, and I have class at 10 tomorrow. I'm downloading movies and albums like a mother, and I've become addicted to apple juice. Other things I've become since coming to USC:

1. Andrew (instead of McNally).
2. A winner.
3. A corrupter of innocents.
4. One of many Trivio's. (Yes, believe it or not, there are people here that can quote more movies than I can)
5. Sober (so far).
6. That one guy with the hair and the tattoo (okay, so I was that before I left, but I still wanted to write it to let you all know that even in California, I'm the guy with the hair and the tattoo)
7. A C-student (at least by my predictions, since I'm doing bare minimum for homework).

I'm still waiting for my TV. I want my baseball. I want my Sportscenter. Hell, I want my MTV. Once everything is here, once I get my job going, once I get the initiative to do homework and laundry, I'll be fine. But until then, I'm going crazy. It all seems like such a hassle. No one here wants homework and school. We want summer camp. We want to just hang out and party and have fun, which I suppose we can do. But we'll always know that we have that homework to do when we get back. Fuckin' Carl, er, homework.

I'm done for tonight. But I want you all to know, I met a guy who used to have a fetish for slapping people in the face with Chipotle burritos. It sounds much weirder in print, and not coming from Trent's mouth. But goddamn, that guy is funny. Just think Brant, and you've got the humor. A good dose of home for me. Good guy, that Trent, as we all were discussing at lunch (at Carl's Jr! Dammit!). Alright, I'll have more to say later in the week.

Currently enjoying:



Next ish: I'm going to ask the audience on this one Regis. A decision must be made by this weekend on what to do over Labor Day. I have options, which I will inform you of soon, and I expect some advice, or at least one dumbass comment, if you're all not too busy with your U of I bullshit. Sorry, that sounded hostile. But you guys are having so much fun without me...

kickin' it in the oc

Shout out to Ryan, Marissa, Summer, and Seth. You guys can totally kick Stephen, Kristin, LC, and Lo's ass. I was four miles from Laguna Beach today. And despite what you see on TV, there aren't as many beautiful people as you might think. I'll bet those stupid kids don't even live in Laguna Beach. But I have to admit, the Laguna Hills/Beach area is one of the more beautiful areas of our great nation. Maybe it's just because I'm from the boring, flat Midwest, and I get really excited when I see hills and canyons and shit, but it's still really pretty. On the downside, I think I got heat stroke today. It was so goddamn hot. Every step I took to the west, the temperature went up two degrees, the closer to the desert we got, the hotter it got. Makes sense I guess, but I was still pretty sweaty.

So while I was there, I went to a company barbeque for my relative's company. One of the funniest things ever happened to me. It's pure situational comedy here, but just listen up. I played ping-pong with an Asian man named Fong. Ping-Pong with Fong. I swear to God the first movie I make will have some reference to, if not centered around, Ping-Pong with Fong. I had to restrain myself from laughing as I played. Just thinking about "Ping-Pong with Fong" was almost enough for me to completely suck at ping-pong.

On a down side, it seems that a lot of foods here lack flavor. Good Humor chocolate ice cream bars are lackluster, watermelon isn't as flavor-explosive, hell, even Starburst don't taste the same. But hey, I'll live. Oh, I forgot, at the BBQ I won a $50 gift certificate to Ralph's in a raffle. I always seem to win things at events that I'm not really supposed to be at. I mean, whenever I'm invited to someone else's party, I end up winning something, and feeling a little guilty. Should I give the prize to my host? Should I give my ticket to someone else? Should I even take a ticket to begin with? Social situations and their repercussions. They're tough on me.

Right now, it's 3 AM and I'm in Daren's room helping him edit a movie. New Res. Cinema Floor's "Bust Your Ass" Film Festival. 28 hours to make a 5 minute movie. Sounds sorta easy, since, you know, the 28 hours/5 minutes ratio. But it takes forever. I chose not to actually particpate, per se, since I knew I was going to Laguna today, but I'm a good friend, I'm helping Daren out. So I decided to let y'all know what's shakin' with me. I need sleep, and I need to do homework. What am I doing? Blogging. And editing. Fuck that homework noise. Like ya do.

Currently enjoying:



Next ish: Hopefully my first editing endeavour goes well. I'll tell you how the film is received at the screening tomorrow night. Maybe I'll get some sleep soon.

absinthe party at the fly honey warehouse

Believe it or not, that's a song title. Minus the Bear. I'm told they're quite good. Absinthe, on the other hand, is just plain ol' fucked up. My first college shot was a shot of 140 proof Absinthe last night. Nothing really crazy happened, but at least I experienced it. Los Angeles is a strange place. They like their merchandise pricey here. I bought a new pair of sandals (Rainbows!) for 50 bucks. Yes, yes, make fun. I know you want to. Everyone here tells you that Rainbows are the "thing" to have, but in all honesty, I'd buy them just for the comfort, not for the style. They are quite comfortable. Read the description on the link and you'll see why.

Jamba Juice is my God. Plain and simple. I must try every...single...flavor! Having never made the trip to Chicago for Jamba Juice (White Castle was much more worthwhile), I never knew what I was missing. And when I told everyone here that I had never had it, of course, they drag me straight there. Once again, I was not disappointed. It's one of the few hyped up things that live up to the hype. I thoroughly enjoy the Jamba.

But with my 50 dollar sandal purchase, and putting my new TV on my debit card, I'm going to broke. Soon. And with movies I want to see (in theaters, which out here costs almost as much as a DVD. 14 dollars. No, I'm not joking), and Amoeba Records right around the corner from the movie theater, the day where I have no money approaches even faster. AND I need new shorts, and some more supplies and such, and who knows what other expenditures are coming soon to a bank account near me. Good thing I got that job. Campus Cruiser wants me. They want me bad. The only downside: going to the DMV and getting a California driver's license. Not going to be fun. I'm gonna be uber-busy for the next semester. What with parties and work and shopping and...and...oh yeah, classes. Pshh. Classes.

Currently enjoying:



Next ish: Going to my distant cousin's house tomorrow. I think it's in Laguna Beach, or somewhere around that area, but I'm not entirely sure. If it is, I'll let you know. If not, I won't say a word.

fight for your right

I went to a bonfire at Manhattan Beach today. And despite what you may think, Manhattan Beach is in L.A. Weird, I know, but stay with me here. A USC girl that I've been hanging out with let us all know about this little shindig. Everyone there was from La Canada, her hometown, and again, despite what you may think, La Canada does not mean "the Canada." It's actually a small portion of L.A. Still with me? So these hometown fuckers are really stingy with the beer. They don't know me, so I don't get beer. Of course, I never pay for anything, so I wasn't about to shell out any money for some. I'm no alcoholic. Everyone knows that.

Everyone here finds the Midwest so fascinating. I put pepper on Mac N' Cheese, and everyone freaks. I put ketchup on eggs, and everyone freaks. I say "dammit" or "back" or "yeah" and everyone freaks at my "accent." I rather enjoy the accent that I never knew I had. Chicks dig the accents. But Illinois is a real conversation piece, since California kicks so much ass, and Illinois sucks so much of it. Everyone wants to know why it sucks. One word: corn. I haven't seen one cornfield since I got here, and I have to say, I'm not complaining. It's not that I don't like Illinois, it's just that...well, I guess it's just that I don't like Illinois. But don't worry, I'll be home at Christmas. But after going to the beach, I'm really tempted to live out here someday. Never out of the question I guess.

I might get a job, as I found out tonight. Campus Cruiser called me up and set up an interview. I'm pretty excited. No better way to get to know the area around campus and the people on campus than by picking them up from random places when they're drunk. Plus, I'm a night person, so I'm basically perfect for the job. As if the interviewer reads my blog. But if you are reading this, I seriously would be an awesome Campus Cruiser. I know how to drive. I know how to deal with drunk people (Mark! Carly!). I'd be great.

No class for me tomorrow. I normally would have an Oceanography lab on Tuesday, but since we've only had one class, there's no lab this week. So a token day off. I plan on sleeping, eating, then hanging out with whoever else isn't in class. Should be a fun time. Look me up, if you aren't learning.

Currently enjoying:



Next ish: I didn't even talk about classes. But they were alright. English is going to be even worse than I thought. About ten minutes in I was already doodling. Oceanography: badass, as expected. Comics is going to be really cool as well. My first screenwriting class isn't until Thursday, so I'll let you know about that. Maybe my next post will be about the new lingo I've been learning about. So until then, I'm gonna huck it, so I'll catch you gypsies late (yes, late, not later).

looking up

Ryan's last two comments on the last post were spot on. I was having a shitty time the first two days, but I've made friends since then. My floor kicks ass. Phantom Planet kicks ass. The two opening bands, however, do not kick ass. The first band, The Lovemakers, were fluckin' terrible. I can't even explain how freaking weird they were. There was a guy who kept booty dancing, a girl who was writhing around trying to look coordinated, a 40 year old synth player (who supplied almost all of the music, but more on that later.), and a drummer who had less technical skill than Meg White. So the guy and the girl were the "frontmen" but they didn't really play instruments. They sang (sorta), danced (sorta), and made out with each other (literally). They were holding instruments (guy with a guitar, girl with a bass) but they hardly played them at all. The 40 year old dude had a keyboard (untouched during the performance) in front of him and an Apple Powerbook. So I assume all of the music I was hearing was coming from the computer, except for the extremely simplistic drumming. Very gay.

The next band, while not kicking ass (a very high rating in the McNally rating system), were pretty good. I liked them a helluva lot better than The Lovemakers. So this band, The Shore, wasn't anything too special, but it was more my style of music. The music was good, not too much energy from the band. They had some pretty funny little quips in between songs though. The singer/guitarist broke a string and had to borrow one of Phantom Planet's guitars. And he made the point of telling the audience what was going on, which I thought was pretty cool. Definitely worth an allmusic search.

And then there was the main event. Phantom Planet was soo kickass. I went into this concert super excited despite the fact that I've only heard their one song (The O.C., you know what I'm talking about). My pal Daren had seen them before and said they were a pretty good live show, and after seeing them live, I have to agree. It was super cool. No Secret Machines concert, of course, but I'm not complaining. Lots of good songs, and they saved "California" for second to last. There were these realy drunk idiots in front of us for about half the concert, which was kinda entertaining, but I really wanted to see the concert and they were pretty distracting. This one guy ("Gay Matt") was "so gay, it hurts." And this other guy loves Matt, but not in that way, as he stated at least 10 times. This guy who loves Matt was so drunk that his eyes were blinking at different times. Weirdest thing I've ever seen. And oh yeah, only "Gay Matt" would ever bring Chardonnay in a water bottle to a concert, since he's so gay.

But that concert was sweet as hell. Afterwards I went back to the dorm and bonded with some friends with some "What's your favorite thing to do?" kind of questions. Good times.

I finally got to Target today and got school supplies and thumb tacks for putting up posters and my room finally looks like it's lived in. My snacks are safe and sound (Fruit by the Foot, Cherry Pop Tarts, Rold Gold Pretzel Sticks, and a whole lotta Nestle Treasures), and I'm ready to go. Now I just have to buy my football tickets and find out where my classes are before tomorrow. Oh yeah, I have to read the first five chapters of The Odyssey before tomorrow too. Shit. At least I don't have to write a paper about it. Yet.

So yeah, things are looking up. I think I'm gonna like it here.

Currently enjoying:



Next ish: Classes start tomorrow. I'll let you know how Oceanography, Core 102, and Art of the Graphic Novel go on Monday. I'm uber-excited for Oceanography. I'm only super excited for the graphic novel class. As for Core 102, it's just an English class. Homer, Shakespeare, Sophocles and such. What a bore.

hippie johnny

I want to have fun, dammit. But I have to keep waking up early for stupid shit that I signed up for without knowing that I'd have to wake up early for it. Frat row has had two fucking nights of parties that I haven't gone to because of these stupid meetings. Thematic Option can't be that important. Once I get un-jet lagged, and I have a free night, I'm getting trashed. It's always a good way to start the new year by pissing off your roommate when you stumble in and break something at 2:30 in the morning. But there'll be chicks, dude. Chicks. There's some kind of party on my floor right now, and drunk girls keep walking past my door so maybe I'll check that out. Be right back...Dammit, that looks fun. Fuck me and my responsibility. This had better be happening often, because if this is the only time the girls from Pardee and Marks come over to get drunk and hang all over dudes, I'm gonna be pissed.

So, somehow I've been really bored and really busy at the same time. With so many meetings during the day, and nothing to really do at night, it throws off my rhythm. I need to meet some cool people that can get me an excuse to go to these little bashes. I can't just show up and take whoever's drinks and then leave when I've had enough, you know? I mean, it's at least a better when I'm showing up with someone I just met and they go "This is Andrew, he lives around the corner, can we have some drinks?" We. The blame is effectively split in half. And if I take more than the person that brought me, they get blamed for bringing me, instead of me getting blamed for taking too much. It's all technicalities. College, that is. College is all technicalities.

Classes start Monday. My dorm room is more or less bare (outside of Revis's Fight Club and Zeppelin posters and my KoL set list), and it's pissing me off. I gotta get to Target soon and get some shit. I forgot clothes hangers. I'm such a dumbass. My movies are en route from Rockford, along with some more clothes, some books, and the Xbox and Gamecube despite the fact that we don't have a TV yet either. No wonder I haven't made that many friends. There are people here that are stacked to the bone when it comes to having a badass room. But they don't call USC the University of Spoiled Children for nothing. Hopefully once classes start, I'll have a few more connections for the drinkie-drinkie, or just for some fucking Family Guy DVDs. It's all about connections. College, that is. College is all about...wait a minute. Dammit, I'm getting something wrong here.

So to conclude. Cali is pretty cool. It'd be cooler if I wasn't so responsible and if I had some actual friends already. Kate is on the Darkside (i.e. near Parkside Apartments, on the other side of campus, for those who didn't know, which is everyone) and I don't have any classes with her. So I'm gonna have to make the effort to keep in touch with her. But that'll be worth it. I'll put the effort in. Classes are going to be exciting, I hope. We'll see on Monday.

Currently enjoying:

Whatever rap music the guy down the hall is blasting.

Next ish: Like I said, classes. Maybe before then I'll talk about the work study process and how much I don't want a job. Yeah, that sounds like a winner. That'll be the weekend post.

four hours and a whole lotta exercise later...

I'm here. I'm moved in. I've met some people. Everything is going good. But I'm still homesick as hell. I miss everyone a whole fucking lot, and I don't really feel like blogging because of it. I've shifted my time zone to Pacific time, so all blog post times are two hours behind whatever time it is in Illinois. I'll start a countdown till Christmas break on here in my next post. California's great, but it would be a lot greater with you here...

i'm too worked up to be clever in this post title

This is the emotional one. This is good-bye. I'm going for tears on this one, so if you don't want to ruin your makeup, don't read.

As anyone who reads this blog can tell, movies and music (pop culture in general actually) are extremely important factors in my life. The "Currently enjoying," the "Mp3s of the Moment," and all my stupid movie references should be a clue there. As I've been packing and thinking and saying good-bye to friends, I've been listening to a lot of music, sorta looking for a song that could help me through this massive transitional period in my life. I've tried a lot, "All These Things That I've Done" by The Killers, "Feel Like Makin' Love" by Bad Company, hell, even "Rawhide" by the Blues Brothers. I can find a little bit of comfort in every song that I listen to, but it's just a temporary escape from what I'm going to feel eventually. I've come to realize that no one song, fuck that, not every song in the world combined, could ever stop me from feeling what I'm feeling. All the emotion in every song ever made can't compare to how much I love each and every person who reads this blog. Every single one of you has made me feel comfortable, welcome, and loved in my four years of high school. I'm not going to say thank you, because that isn't enough.

To the gang (you all know who you are): James's house, the perennial hangout spot, was our clubhouse. Andrew was Alfalfa, I'm gonna say Mark was Spanky (Founder of the Woman Hater's Club), and Ranger was our Petey. I didn't have a place in high school until around post-sophomore summer. Once I found you guys, I fell into my place, I felt comfortable around everyone, and I really found myself. I could act the way I wanted to act, and no one would hate me for it. I didn't have to try and be someone I wasn't anymore. The two years after that were in all honesty the best of my life (so far). I foresee many good years to come, because I can't imagine any of us really losing touch with each other. We're all too close for that to happen. And don't anyone let me down on that statement.

So I haven't made you cry yet? I'm just getting started, don't worry. I could mention each and every one of you by name, but I'm doing that a different way, so I guess I'm not really getting started. I'm more in the middle/end. It's so hard to say what I want to say though. I've been getting choked up at everything the past few days. Whenever I see someone else cry, I get a little misty. When I do say good-bye to everyone in person, I'm not going to be a pretty sight, I don't think. Well, if no one else cries, then I might be okay. But then I'll just think about how far away California is from Illinois, and then I won't be okay. You guys are all fantastic people, and I'll say more to each one of you in a more personal way before I go. One thing I can say to everyone is thanks for making me one of the gang. It means more than you can realize.

Currently enjoying:

Too much to list.

Next ish: Most likely the first post from California.

SoCal Countdown: 2 Heart-Wrenching Days

going to california

Zack's (and one of my) favorite Led Zeppelin song. And very appropriate as well. So Canada was a major success. A week of much needed relaxation. Clubs were cool, but I definitely don't see myself being one of those dudes that go every night. Mostly because I don't have the wardrobe for that. Actually, the club scene just isn't for me I don't think. It's cool, but not something I can really get into. I'd rather go to concerts. Or maybe a club with a real DJ playing, which was something we couldn't find in Montreal. The sights were great up in Syrup Country, lots of great views. McGill University was beautiful. If things don't work out in Cali, I may consider going there just for the awesome campus. It's seriously freaking sweet up there. The only downside to Montreal is that it's damn expensive. Me and Brant found a half coffee cup that said "Montreal was so expensive I could only buy half of this cup." Very true. So that was Canada. Oh yeah, almost forgot. Sarah got drunk. That was some entertainment right there. Glad I could be there for the first time, Sarah.

So I'm starting to pack, and I'm getting all weepy. I couldn't even watch Extreme Makeover: Home Edition with my family (as we usually do on Sunday nights) without feeling like I was going to lose it. Some of my family came over to see me off, and it's all just starting to set in that I won't see these people until December. Scary. The really sad part, and the part that I'm almost afraid to admit, is that I think I'm going to miss my friends more than I'll miss my family. I mean, I'll miss my family a lot, but I'll always know where they are. I'll never lose touch with my family, you know? Friends can disappear pretty quick. Don't let that happen, guys. I'm serious. I'll become a stalker if I have to. The blog will continue in college, so you'll all be kept updated on the events in my life, which I know is something you all couldn't live without. I never knew how big of an audience I had until recently, and I'm getting drunk with the power of journalism, if you can call this shitty little blog journalism, but a man can dream, can't he? Can't he?? Let me dream, dammit! This blog is important! It's influential! It's sure as hell better than Fox News! Then again, I can get more consequential information from The Daily Show than I can from Fox News, so saying that my blog is better than Fox News isn't really saying much, since a porn site has more important information than that godforsaken "news" channel. But that's not the issue here. I'M LEAVING! AHHHHH!

I'll be alright.

Currently enjoying:



Next ish: I don't know if I'll get one more in before I go, so it could be from sunny Los Angeles, or it could be a good-bye right before I leave. Who knows?

SoCal Countdown: 3 Mu' fuckin' Days!

don't call it a comeback

Wait, go ahead and call it that, because I'm BACK baby. I know you missed me. Sorry I didn't pick up my cell when you called, I was in the bathroom. All week. Ok, I was in the clubs, but I swear I wasn't dancing with any other girls. Ok, I was, but I was thinking of you baby.

Alright enough of that. Canada. What is Canada? One cannot be told what Canada is, you have to see it for yourself (that's an easy one Dave!). Well, let me give you a taste. Food. Buildings. Sight-seeing. Maple syrup. Mounties. Got a taste yet? If so, good. If not, good. I'll post when I'm not tired, or busy, or playing baseball, or masturbating. So it might be a couple days. Ha. Catch you cats on the flipside, eh?

my ears are ringing but my heart's ok

Well, the debate has come to close (33 comments total! I was right in my prediction). We all have our own opinions about music, and I respect that. I just hope the other side can do the same. The post title is a Captain Audio album title, btw. I thought it was appropriate. I'm a bit tipsy from some 100 proof SoCo, and I'm not at home. I feel more comfortable blogging in the comfort of my own computer room, so I'm gonna leave this one a bit brief. Off to watch Amelie, so I'll catch all you cats later. McHogan, out.

some dumb dave fan just let loose the hounds

It has come to my attention that a little debate has broken out about "The Dave Matthews Post." (I only recently discovered this because I'm not the kind of person who checks his posts for comments everyday. That would be arrogant.) Well, I hate to say it (no I don't), but I told you so. This debate is my fault, as it usually is, but there's no way in hell I'm going to pass up an opportunity like this. I'm going to town in this post, and it's gonna be fun as hell.

First off, to Zack. I am aware that Phish is no longer together. I hope that you are aware that Led Zeppelin no longer tours either, and yet I still referenced them. I don't really see what relevance it has that they are broken up, but they were still a jam band. And yes, I have heard "Tangerine" by "Dave" (for the sake of typing I am going to refer to him as "Dave," in quotes, instead of just Dave, or DMB, because I am not a fan of these fanboy labels), and I did not enjoy it. Hence the reason I referenced the song in my previous post. I said it was bad because I thought it was bad. Now, granted, it may not even be "Dave's" fault on this one. It's pretty hard to do any Zep song justice.

Now for the extremely entertaining part. I must say this immediately, before I make my arguments. To anyone who doesn't agree with me, guess what? It's my opinion, and it's my blog. Fuck off. If you don't like it, don't whine about it, don't read it, don't talk to me. But for the sake of argument (since I love this argument so much), I'm going to dignify your comments with a response. I will do this systematically and logically, following each and every point through to what I have to say (I'm gon' use a bulleted list!). I'm going to be a smartass, and put down some dumb "Dave" fan(s), but it's all in good fun, so if you take any of this as a direct personal assault on your character, good, that's what I'm going for. Just kidding. To quote Calvin: "A little rudeness and disrespect can elevate a meaningless interaction to a battle of will and add drama to an otherwise dull day." Enjoy the debate.

• "Argument" #1 - Dave Matthews never sold out and is not in it for the money. I want to address this issue first, because I feel it is the most important. I was going to go in order of the statements in the comments section, but this deserves the top spot. Any musician, I don't care who it is, is in the business for the money. If they say they aren't, they're full of shit. If you think they aren't, you're obviously a little slow. I want to make movies. Why? Because the money is good, and I'm good at it. So more or less, easy money. Am I a bad person? No. Is "Dave" a bad person for wanting money? No. He's a bad person for marketing the same song under different titles.
• "Retarded Statement" #2 - "'Dave' sold out the Great Lawn of Central Park with over 100,000 people, and continues to sell out 40,000+ person venues, Giant's Stadium and Soldier Field just to name a few, night after night- some concerts three nights in a row- all summer long, every summer." Taken directly from the comment. This is meaningless. You know, Britney Spears, Backstreet Boys, N'SYNC all sell out venues just as big. Are they good artists? Hell no. It just proves that simpletons like simple music, and there are a helluva lot of simpletons in the world. At least enough to sell out a large concert venue. If you want a better point than the one I've made here, check Tom's comment on the first "Dave" post.
• "Statistic Thrown in for Aesthetic Value" #3 - "According to Entertainment Weekly, Dave holds 7 of 15 spots on the highest attended concerts in U.S. history." This sort of fits in with argument #2. Now, I respect Entertainment Weekly a great deal. I assume they check their facts. Now either some dumb "Dave" fan doesn't check their facts, or Google has failed me, because I can't find any trace of this alleged article. But I can find AskMen.com's top 10 highest attended concerts of all time. Unless someone is mistaken, "Dave" isn't in any of the top ten, so how can he have 7 of the top 15? Even if this is true, see my rebuttal to #2. Doesn't prove a thing.
• "I'm-Running-Out-of-Names-for-This-Stupid-Shit" #4 - "He has the best-selling independent record of all time." If this is true, it's quite an accomplishment. Now I could be wrong here, but I assume that when you say "independent record" you mean an album released by an independent label. Most independent labels sign much lesser known bands, and given the success (albeit undeserved) of "Dave" and his "band" it wouldn't be hard to outstrip a garage band from Long Island named The Radioactive Shit Machines. Good job, "Dave."
• "Complete and Utter Bullshit" #5 - "I don't think I even need to comment on the vast talent underlying every member of the band, but I will anyway... a completely unique style of acoustic guitar, extremely accomplished jazz/classical backgrounds, and a drummer that has been professionally performing in jazz clubs since the age of nine, who is also known to be amongst the world's best." First of all, if you didn't think the comment about "talent" of the band was needed, then why bother? You knew I was going to refute you, so you just fed the fire I guess. I could just say that I hate his style of music, lay out my opinion and be done with it. But I'm going to go a little further than that. You say "Dave" is "completely unique." Semantics be damned, no one in music is completely unique. Acoustic guitar is hardly ever unique. Everyone from Simon and Garfunkel to Eric Clapton has used an acoustic guitar, and I don't really see what defines "Dave's" "style" over any other acoustic performer. Jazz/classical backgrounds, or in other words "credibility" is a point I will concede. I'm not even going to bother looking anything up on this, because it's not really an argument for or against the "band." To be in a band, any band even a bad one, you gotta have some sort of musical background. Now, for the drummer. One of the world's best? Says who?? I couldn't tell you the guy's name without looking it up. In an age of musical drought where almost every band within a genre sounds the same, there are no truly great instrumentalists. Some are destined for greatness, with further experience, exposure, and expansion, but I cannot think of one musician from any band that I would consider "legend." The only person worth a damn in the whole "band" is Tim Reynolds and he's smart enough not to be permanently associated with them.
• "Let's Kill the Messenger, Because He's Brought Me Bad News" #6 - "What does Andrew McNally know about music?" Now this anonymous poser, I mean poster, said some things directed at yours truly, just to bolster his (or her, we can all tell this is a bitch talking) argument. I won't do the same, but only because I don't know who this person is. I have theories, but I'm not throwing them out there, just in case they're wrong. I'm going to refer to this poster, in this bullet, as "asshole" for the sake of brevity. First, asshole said, "I hope he's not one of those posers who sits down and pretends he knows how to play a guitar by strumming some Jed Clampet bullshit." I don't know what this has to do with anything. I never claimed to be good at guitar. I play when I can. Revis is better than me. I know Dueling Banjos (which I assume is what he means by "Jed Clampet bullshit" and for the record, The Beverly Hillbillies was a quality television show. Let's not drag Jed's name through the mud. The song isn't even from The Beverly Hillbillies. It's most recognized from Deliverance. Nice try though.), and it's not my musical talent that is in question here. Next, asshole stated, "I would think he knows who sings Fool in the Rain, that Phish broke up, and that Led Zeppelin was not a jam band- as any dumb Dave fan would." I do know who sings "Fool in the Rain" but when I think Led Zeppelin, I don't think "Fool in the Rain." I think "Stairway to Heaven" as any dumb Zeppelin fan would. I knew Phish broke up, but again, that has no relevance to the argument. Just because they broke up doesn't mean anything, they were still a jam band, and one that I prefer over "Dave" and his repetitive solos. Asshole sure is a pretentious asshole. As for Zep not being a jam band, this is a matter of opinion. Jimmy Page once played a 25 minutes version of "Dazed and Confused." He wasn't jamming, though I guess. Asshole then added, "Because if he didn't, I'd tell him to shut his fucking mouth." Good thing I did know all those things, so you don't have to tell me that. In fact, I should be telling you that. But wait, my character was attacked even more! This one is a doozy: "He's probably just another one of those asshole "rebels" who take pleasure in being their own petty version of "misunderstood," and who talk like they know more than everyone around them, bitching about shit thinking that people want to listen to their bitching, when actually everyone is praying that they will shut the fuck up and let everyone enjoy themselves." I'm a rebel because I listen to different music than you? Okay. Rebels get chicks. I can dig it. I'm misunderstood? Okay. Misunderstood guys get chicks. I don't really know what to say to these statements because they are just exaggerations of my attitude, and I can't really fight back, since asshole decided to puss out and not leave a name. I don't talk like I'm better than everyone else. I talk like I have better taste in music than you. And you seem to be doing the same thing to me. So who's really the bad guy here? I'm gonna say it's you, and you're gonna say it's me. I may bitch about "Dave" but only when everyone shoves it down my throat. If I hear someone say "How can you not like 'Dave'?" one more goddamn time, I'm jumping off the Whitman Street Bridge, screaming "Dave Matthews is my father!" as I plummet to my premature death. If you want to enjoy yourself, then listen to "Dave" somewhere else. I want to enjoy myself too, so why don't you play some music everyone agrees on? Damn.
• "Greatest Misstatement of All Time" # 7 - "I'd say sounds like this guy needs to listen to some more music before he feels he's in a position to critique it." I could go all day on this one. I guarantee my music selection is more diverse than your iPod full of "Dave" and OAR, asshole. 750 songs downloaded onto my computer. I even have some "Dave" on there. *Gasp!* Blasphemy! Fuck you. I have a taste for the songs that don't sound like all the rest. The ones that have what they call hooks. And now, for your reading enjoyment, I'm going to give you an abbreviated list some of the bands I am interested in. These are the more obscure bands that I'm sure some dumb "Dave" fan has never listened to before. Hell, some of them aren't even that obscure, and he still probably hasn't heard them because he's too busy pumping his ears full of the eighteenth version of "Ants Marching." Rap: Aesop Rock, Beastie Boys, Common, Kanye West, Louis Logic, X-Ecutioners, Cypress Hill. Rock: Wilco, ZZ Top, Led Zeppelin, Weezer, Van Halen, Jet, The Darkness, A Perfect Circle, AC/DC. Shit you've never heard of, and never would have heard of if I hadn't told you about it: ...And You Will Know Us by the Trail of Dead, Antony and the Johnsons, The Apples in Stereo, Bloc Party, Broken Social Scene, Epicure, Frog Eyes, Gov't Mule, Handsome Boy Modeling School, Jazz Mandolin Project, Ladytron, LCD Soundsystem, Meat Puppets, Neutral Milk Hotel, Radar Bros., Secret Machines, Sondre Lerche, Sons and Daughters, Sparklehorse, The Arcade Fire, The Books, The Decemberists, The Kills (no, I don't mean the Killers, but guess what? I like them too), The Magnetic Fields, The Shins, The Von Bondies, and World Leader Pretend. There is so much more, including Beck, Ben Folds, Rolling Stones, Nazareth, The Flaming Lips, The Black Keys, Interpol, Gorillaz, Death Cab for Cutie, Guster, Jamiroquai, The Modern Lovers, Flogging Molly, Ben Harper, and Blur. Throw in some Bach, Beethoven, and Mozart. And don't forget almost all classic rock. These bands encompass all genres including punk, hip-hop, folk, hard rock, indie rock, jazz, emo, and pop. I know almost as much about music as I do about movies and that's saying a lot. Do I need to listen to more music? Or am I entitled to "critique" it now? Am I allowed my opinions yet? Some dumb "Dave" fan would totally turn America into Cuba if he could. And the only thing coming out of the loudspeakers? No, not communist propaganda. Dave Matthews. In his comment he added, "But fuck that... Dave doesn't need McNally's ticket to continue to sell out the nation's biggest venues. He's Dave. 'Nuff said. People give a damn about him." You're goddamn fucking right "Dave" doesn't need my ticket. He's got enough retards to compensate for one guy with taste. He ain't never gettin' my ticket either. I'll go see Kings of Leon again. People do give a damn about "Dave" but I just don't know why.
• "One Final Blow to My Ego" #8 - "I wouldn't worry about the RIAA reading your bullshit- I doubt they give a damn." I don't think the RIAA would bother reading about my opinion on "Dave" either. I made that statement referring to the fact that I illegally download music. They do care about that you know. It must have taken a long time to download every single "Dave" song, including all the live versions which are "way better." I'd say you'd better watch out for the RIAA too, but I don't think I would mind seeing you interrogated by a man in a black suit.

My bulleted list is finished. But I'm far from done. Tom, Mark, James, Dave, Zack, Steve, and Asshole have all clearly stated their opinions, and I'm glad we could turn this into such a mudslinging free-for-all. This is one of my favorite arguments to get into. But just remember, unless your name is Hitler, Mussolini, or Castro, everyone still has a right to their own opinions. But if you shove your opinion in my face and tell me I'm wrong, you're gonna catch hell from me, I tell you what.

A few more things I'd like to point out. Zack said, "I think there's a lot of pressure on big bands like Dave to branch out with their music, because people get sick of hearing the exact same sound." That's exactly my problem with "Dave." All his music sounds the same. Even his "branching out" sounds like the same old shit. James said, "Speaking of which, I have something to say to Mark: 'Oh man, the fallout boys are sooo cool!'" James, you are mistaken. The Fallout Boys (or as they are more commonly known, Fall Out Boy) are not cool. Mark thinks so, I disagree, you disagree. In all honesty though, I have downloaded some of their songs as well, and not all of them are total shit. Some of them are even tolerable. Maybe in a few years we can have a similar debate out Fall Out Boy.

I think that's enough to keep this bonfire burning. Go at it boys. Mark likes to act tuff, Zack, so let him. He's not afraid of you. In fact, I think I heard him say that you throw like a girl, or something. He may have said that you were cool or something, I wasn't really paying attention, but you guys should still fight. That's one dance I'd pay to see. On a final note, I will NOT let my blog degrade into a "Dave" forum. When I'm sick of the argument, it stops on this blog. I won't mention it, I won't entertain any arguments, I'll be done, and so will you. So get your kicks now, and be careful what you say to me, because I got an attitude and I can back the shit up too. Congratulations to some dumb "Dave" fan, for inspiring my longest post to date. I'm never wasting this much time on this subject again. You're an asshole. Cue Mark's "Try To Get Me" dance.

Currently enjoying:

NOT DAVE MATTHEWS.

Next ish: Nothing to do with Dave Matthews! Canada soon, you'll have to do without my wit from Aug. 5th to Aug. 12th.

SoCal Countdown: 15 Days

running on adrenaline fumes

I got sick of staying up till 5:00 AM every night, so I just stayed up all night, so tonight I'll be really tired and maybe I can get back on a somewhat normal schedule. That's my twisted plan, so it's almost 8:00 AM now. This is probably the earliest anyone will ever see me awake again, until I get a job. If I get a job. I'm really bored sitting here eating my Lucky Charms and listening to music. I watched Dodgeball (Remember the 5 D's?) and The Princess Bride (Inconceivable!) over the past 6-odd hours, and I think I'm gonna watch Planet of the Apes (the new one, not the good one) next. Just thought I'd let you know what's going on in my life. I don't think I do that enough.

Sunday was boring. Summer is boring. I hope Canada isn't boring since I leave on Friday. Sarah, you gotta set up some kind of itinerary or something, because I don't want to sit around up there trying to figure out something to do. You're good at that kinda thing. I'm a complete moron when it comes to making plans. Just ask anyone who was here while James was out of town. Nothing else to say now. I'll probably be bored later today, so I'll come up with something more then. Procrastination: Hard work often pays off over time, but laziness always pays off now.