the secret machines are better than u2

that's right. i said it. i'm going back to the old-skool days of dissing on bands that everyone else likes, but i hate. i would hate u2 even more, but they are irish, and that deserves some respeck. needless to say, the secret machines are what u2 wishes they were from the beginning. u2 sucks so hard that even oasis couldn't keep up with them in a milkshake slurping contest.

i've been known for my "controversial" views on music (loyal readers may know what i'm talking about), but fuck popularity, fuck records sold, fuck tour dates. some music just sucks. the secret machines do not suck. u2 sucks. a lot. like worse than coldplay, worse than all the other shit that gets a music video spot on mtvU. u2 just sucks and there's nothing you can do about it.

now to change it up, i'm going to talk about how the secret machines are awesome. first off, they're from new york. well they were first based in texas (which is pretty cool in itself, the austin music scene is nothing to scoff at) but then they moved to new york, and made it big, which is what really matters. and new york is one of, if not the most badass city in the united states. i was born in new york. case in point.

the secret machines may have a very different style of music from u2, but it doesn't matter. the genre, sound, production, whatever you want to call it makes no play on my opinion here. it's bono's stupid face that makes me hate u2 so much. and his bracelets for AIDS or whatever, because you know, he's not a cha-millionaire, so he has to have his concert-goers pay out the ass for tickets so a portion can go to future celebrity adoptees in africa rather than give a little something out of his own pocket. what an asshole.

but as much as i don't like u2, dave matthews band will always be worse. if u2's suckitude is the earth, then dave matthews suckitude is antares, 15th brightest star in our sky. maybe even bigger.

the secret machines are better than dave matthews.


in conclusion, this was a test of the emergency facebook system. u2 doesn't suck as hard as suggested, but i don't like them at all. dave matthews's suck-ness is portrayed at 1/1000 scale in this entry. hopefully this will enlighten all of those interested on facebook to my formerly actively updated blog and find some excellent tidbits, writing samples, and just good ol' nuggets of wisdom in the archives. i would suggest the great dave matthews debate circa summer 2005. enjoy.