meditations on first dave matthews

it took two and a half semesters of college but i'm finally reading things that if people saw me reading them they'd say, "man that guy must be in college. and he's really fucking sexy too!" marx, wittegenstein, baudrillard, and my personal favorite, descartes. everybody reads marx, so he's not even really that impressive. but descartes...people know who he is, but they don't know what he's about. i could philosophize on this statement ad nauseum in the style of descartes, but i won't because cartesian philosophy is confusing. college has introduced me to words like weltanschauung, intellection, and pecuniary emulation, all of which are fancy words for things that can be said much simpler. i didn't need college for this. i needed college because i didn't have anywhere to go after high school.

in fact, i didn't need college at all. in reading descartes' meditations on first philosophy, i realized that i've already matched (if not surpassed descartes). yes, i am in fact referring to the now infamous dave matthews debate, which in the running timeline of my life occurred before college. descartes' process in this book is to ramble on (read: meditate, or philosophize) for a few pages, send out what he wrote down to a couple of other "smart" people who he didn't really think were smart and let them object to it. he would then call these people stupid and restate what he said before so the buffoons would understand. it's quite simple really. so what did i do? i posited a theory (dave matthews sucks), sent it out to the masses (who i swear i don't think are dumb) and let them respond. then i responded to their responses, told them why they were wrong, and won the argument. no argument there right?

the only real difference between what descartes and i were doing was that descartes was trying to prove that god exists and that soul and body were inherently separate. i was trying to prove that dave matthews is an asshole whose masturbatory guitarwork exposes his failure as a songwriter. and i think i succeeded. if you still think you're right, i have no further way to explain why i'm right and you're wrong other than suggesting you find a large, phallic object and proceed to shove said object up your ass. the way this will feel describes what dave matthews feels when he plays a sweet guitar jam for twenty minutes. dave matthews fucks himself in the ass.


in short, i don't need college to tell me how to think, i have my friends to do that. at least i'm going to be in debt for the rest of my life.




andrew's blogging again! is that gay?

it deserves reprise

this is partly a test to see just how often dave still checks this thing. and partly an excuse to post this again.



i want to learn piano if only just to play this song.

possibly a longer update soon, if i feel so inclined, though there are more productive ways for me to spend time writing at the moment. check back anyways. just in case.