i'm too worked up to be clever in this post title

This is the emotional one. This is good-bye. I'm going for tears on this one, so if you don't want to ruin your makeup, don't read.

As anyone who reads this blog can tell, movies and music (pop culture in general actually) are extremely important factors in my life. The "Currently enjoying," the "Mp3s of the Moment," and all my stupid movie references should be a clue there. As I've been packing and thinking and saying good-bye to friends, I've been listening to a lot of music, sorta looking for a song that could help me through this massive transitional period in my life. I've tried a lot, "All These Things That I've Done" by The Killers, "Feel Like Makin' Love" by Bad Company, hell, even "Rawhide" by the Blues Brothers. I can find a little bit of comfort in every song that I listen to, but it's just a temporary escape from what I'm going to feel eventually. I've come to realize that no one song, fuck that, not every song in the world combined, could ever stop me from feeling what I'm feeling. All the emotion in every song ever made can't compare to how much I love each and every person who reads this blog. Every single one of you has made me feel comfortable, welcome, and loved in my four years of high school. I'm not going to say thank you, because that isn't enough.

To the gang (you all know who you are): James's house, the perennial hangout spot, was our clubhouse. Andrew was Alfalfa, I'm gonna say Mark was Spanky (Founder of the Woman Hater's Club), and Ranger was our Petey. I didn't have a place in high school until around post-sophomore summer. Once I found you guys, I fell into my place, I felt comfortable around everyone, and I really found myself. I could act the way I wanted to act, and no one would hate me for it. I didn't have to try and be someone I wasn't anymore. The two years after that were in all honesty the best of my life (so far). I foresee many good years to come, because I can't imagine any of us really losing touch with each other. We're all too close for that to happen. And don't anyone let me down on that statement.

So I haven't made you cry yet? I'm just getting started, don't worry. I could mention each and every one of you by name, but I'm doing that a different way, so I guess I'm not really getting started. I'm more in the middle/end. It's so hard to say what I want to say though. I've been getting choked up at everything the past few days. Whenever I see someone else cry, I get a little misty. When I do say good-bye to everyone in person, I'm not going to be a pretty sight, I don't think. Well, if no one else cries, then I might be okay. But then I'll just think about how far away California is from Illinois, and then I won't be okay. You guys are all fantastic people, and I'll say more to each one of you in a more personal way before I go. One thing I can say to everyone is thanks for making me one of the gang. It means more than you can realize.

Currently enjoying:

Too much to list.

Next ish: Most likely the first post from California.

SoCal Countdown: 2 Heart-Wrenching Days