this one is for all the ladies in the audience

I don't really know why that's the title of my post, since this is just gonna be the same old shit, but hey, we'll go with it. So I didn't do anything last night. It was boring. But today...today was a different story.

First, the lesser news. I fucking turned down another chance to go to Summerfest. Kristen and Noah offer me a free ticket and a space in the car, and I don't go because I, get this, hadn't showered. I'm so fucking retarded. Well, I guess I had sort of a good reason since I hadn't showered in two days and I had worked those two days so I was all dirty and smelly from laying rock. But damn. Death Cab would have been sweet as hell, and I guess I could have asked them to wait like 15 extra minutes or even pick me up since I am sorta on the way. I live at about the northern-most part of Rockford, if that is at all interesting or even relevant to my blog. We'll see how many more opportunities are squandered. The current count is 3.

Now the middle to upper news. Tom, Mark, Dave, and I decide to play baseball today as we often do. Everyone plays like shit (except for me, as usual. Haha, just kidding. I'm not an asshole...Seriously. I'm not.). So we call it quits, and walk back to the cars. Tom says, "Hey Dave, come look at this." So we mosey on over and Tom pulls out his air rifle. Dave (in his "Dave" way) goes, "Coooool. What kind of bullets does it shoot?" So as Tom is pulling out his little tin of bebes, one of us goes, "Oh my God, a cop." Tom attempts to do the old hide-the-gun-behind-your-leg-because-it's-pretty-much-the-same-shape-and-he-won't-notice trick. Has this trick ever worked? It sure didn't this time.

• Cop: What was just in your hand?
• Tom: Oh, it's my air rifle.
• Cop: What the hell are you doing with an air rifle out here?
• Tom: I was on my uncle's farm the other day and I...
• Cop: Well you're not on your uncle's farm anymore.

So we all get our IDs ran through "the system" and the cop gets some backup, who proceed to check Tom's Jeep for whatever they could use against him (other guns, drug paraphernalia, actual drugs, dildos, pornography, anti-establishment propaganda, etc.). They find nothing. The original cop, I shall call him Kenny from now on, decides he needs to call his sargeant to figure out whether or not to charge Tom with, get this, possession of a weapon in a public park. You know those signs in front of all parks that have the pictures of stuff with circles around them and lines through them? Who'da thunk they actually meant something. So Tom now has to go to court. Not to find out if he goes to jail or not, but to find out whether or not he gets his air rifle back. Ah, establishment wastes it's time on another meaningless "crime." Hope that Kenny doesn't read that on my blog or else he'll come and get me!

Finally, the biggest news I have is not my own. My thoughts go out to all of the victims of the suicide bombing in London. When I heard this, I thought, "Suicide bombings don't happen in London. They happen in 3rd world countries, not countries just as powerful as us..." And then I got scared. A shame this had to happen during the G8 Conference. Hopefully Tony Blair plays his cards right and is able to address his people and focus on the poverty crisis. The whole damn world needs a fucking psychologist. Is all this fighting really necessary? Of course not. Pacifism is the flavor of the month, in my opinion. Everyone should give it a try. Maybe if the terrorists try a good ol' fashioned sit-in, they can get whatever the hell it is they want. Does anyone actually know what these fuckers want anyway? Power? Money? Women?....Men? Don't these idiots realize that if they get power, then someone else won't like it just like they didn't before and then there will be other terrorists to get rid of the original terrorists? Power corrupts. Absolute power corrupts absolutely. But some would say that it rocks absolutely too. Unless you're getting blown up for being in a country that "has too much power" quote-unquote. Sorry we live a little better than you, but you know what? If you don't like where you are, don't kill people. Worry about getting yourself out of your metaphorical hole instead of putting everyone else in a very literal hole caused by a large explosion.

So anyway, Socialism...what? Sorry, I know I sound like a damn Commie, but if everyone would sacrifice a little, level the playing field, and just be happy with it, the world wouldn't have so much bad news all the time. Tell that to Kenny the cop while he's on his power trip.

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Next post: If I don't get to Summerfest, I'm gonna flip. At the rate things are going, be prepared for me to flip.