cubs win (like you were surprised)

sean marshall is a worthy substitution for mark prior. you heard it here first from the mouth of me, the co-number one mark prior fan (nacho!). he dominates. and he reminds me of barry zito with that bollocks-dropping curveball. can't beat that shit.

while the sunny spring days distract all college students from classes, the cool nights bring out the werewolves of creativity, or as i like to call them "demons of design," or as my close personal friend bill o'reilly likes to call them: "sins." so tonight instead of studying for finals, or finishing last minute projects, the fun half of my hallway (i.e. not my half) decided to make a slip-n-slide with clear tarp and cooking oil. i chose subway over witnessing said slip-n-slide in action, but when i returned all that remained was a miffed r.a., the smell of lubricated asshole, and a lot of greasy handprints on the wall. needless to say, i'm not entirely sure that the slip-n-slide was ever actually implemented.

of course, i say this only in jealousy, since the "other half" of the floor is the side where the "popular" kids live. all of them are in frats or have a lifestyle similar to someone in a frat. although i've heard that they are very nice people, i am still intimidated by their good-looking, well-groomed ways. and of course, now it's too late to attempt contact unless i want a week-long friendship with fugitive michael ecker (look him up on facebook). ask me about it and i'll tell you the storied history of the michael ecker facebook profile.

and finally, being the God that i am, i will lay down a commandment onto all of thee, my loyal plebians. don't give dempsey too much shit. i myself have never done a beer bong, but i imagine that if i did, i would have a similar experience to ol' half beer sean. it's a tough thing to do. don't be frat boy cunts about it. i'm sure it was very funny at the time, but let's not blow it out of proportion. poke your fun, but make sure it's still fun, you know? we don't want to enter college assholes and come out douches. let's just stay assholes, but friendly assholes. that's my aesop role play for today. i've attempted to teach my lesson. don't kill me.

boxes are piling up with my shit. and i don't know where to put them. home sounds good, despite having to work almost full time this summer. but money+cubs games on tv (and radio!)+a backyard to lay in+booze+doods=a damn good time. this summer is looking very promising to me. don't disappoint guys. quoting mark bernachea at a boylan basketball game during an opponent's free throw attempt: "SOOOO MUCH PRESSURE [on you doods]!!!!" let's make it happen.

and watch this. i've never actually watched extras, but if this is any kind of idea of what it is, i will pay any amount of money to see this on more than one occasion.